Pain. Rain. Fun. Possibly near a park.
All remaining workouts of Pain in the Park are canceled. Organizers were not aware that all public events in Portland parks require a permit and liability insurance, and we are not able to afford the fee ($1,002) for the permit. We apologize for not being able to continue, and we thank you for joining us for the first sessions.
Starting January 8, we invite you to a new series of workouts. We'll meet on various obscure street corners in Portland and devise wintertime workouts from there. No fee, no fancy equipment needed, just bring yourself (and a friend if you like) and expect to have fun for an hour.
Starting November 6, you're invited to weekly cross-training romps through a selection of Portland's finest parks. It's winter and cold and dark, but that doesn't mean you need to sit around and get bloblike. Through a combination of calisthenics, running drills, stair climbs, pullups, and a variety of other modern torture devices, we'll keep you active and fit until spring.

Using elements of each individual park, like horseshoe pits and lighted courts, Jeff Henderson and Jonathan Eng will craft an hour workout each week that will straddle the line of hilarious and ridiculous. This is meant to be dirty, sweaty, comical, whimsical, and exhausting - sort of like sex but in public.

Each workout will begin at 6pm SHARP. They'll take place across the city, according to the following schedule:

November 6: Irving Park
November 13: Sellwood Park
November 20: Waterfront Park
November 25: Peninsula Park
December 4: Duniway Track
December 11: New! By Popular Demand! Waterfront Park
January 8: SE Salmon & SE 69th (near Mt. Tabor)
January 15: NE 33rd & NE US Grant Pl (near Grant School)
January 22: SW Park & SW Market (near PSU)
January 29: SW Park Pl & SW Madison Ct (near the rose garden)
February 5: SE Oak & SE 39th (near Laurelhurst)

Here's a map showing meeting locations for each week. (Zoom in and click the markers for exact meeting locations.)

Jonathan Eng has ten years experience as a coach and personal trainer. His company, Runneng.com, provides coaching services to local and international athletes. He is a certified USA Triathlon coach, National Academy of Sports Medicine certified personal trainer, and a local legend on the parallel bars.

Jeff Henderson is the organizer of the annual Oregon Trout City of Portland Triathlon. He is not a coach but knows a thing or two about being active, and he did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

All you need is sneakers and play clothes. Come out and mess around for an hour, then go home and hug your spouse warmly before hopping in the shower.